What if?

“What if?” I often used it in a negative way until someone told me to throw out those two words and go for what I want.  Then, he said, “What if it will work out, have you used it in a positive way?” I was taught to think of the worst! I am terrible to think of the possibility! I made the decision to create a new life last year.  It has been an uphill battle.  Recently, there were many unfortunate events happened that I felt so lost in life.  Somewhere in my mind, I always think of I don’t want to have any regret.  I started to contact friends and tell them I appreciated their friendships.  I started to let go of friends who never value me as a friend.  I even wrote a letter to my ex-boyfriend of my true feeling for him despite how it ended.  The toughest one was telling my parents that I love them and gave a hug.  My childhood was never something I would like to share because it was painful.  After all, they did give me life or I wouldn’t be here.  I don’t like to have any regret what if tomorrow is the last day of my life.  Perhaps, I should start saying, ” I want happiness and make the best of each day as it’s the last day of my life!” and let go of whatever doesn’t serve my purpose and my future.


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