A long lasting relationship

When I saw this quote, I sent it to my special someone.  Sadly, we didn’t make it after almost 4 years long distance relationship with 7000 some km apart.  Part of me believes love can conquer all.  Some couples out there has proven that it is true.  When I saw this quote, I think it sums up what I believe about love.  Unfortunately, it takes two willing hearts to make it work.  At least, this is what I believe!

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Do we need a reason to send a gift to the special loved one?

Whenever I need a gift to the special loved ones in my life, I enjoy creating the gifts of finding the items on their wish list.  It is part of me giving with love and care.

When it comes to relationship especially long-distance relationship, it properly is important other than keeping connecting through texts, meetings, and special occasions gifts.  It is not about how expensive the gift is. It doesn’t have to be on certain occasions.   A nice little surprise not only brings a smile to your loved one; it is also part of building a trusting and committing relationship. Also, it creates more special memories.  Letting someone know that you are in their mind that itself is very meaningful. Making the person feel special in your heart which helps deepen the relationship!  Their smiles are priceless.

Here is one of my favourite quotes as I believe unconditional love is beautiful:

“To love…truly love…is to give

and expect nothing in return,

because it makes you feel good…

And when someone you love gives back for the same reasons,

then the love is surely true…”

 

Whenever my 7000km boyfriend sent me flowers, I would take lots of photos as soon as I received them.  At one point, I would dry the roses and create something special.  I would send him photos.  It is my way to show him how much I treasure, the flowers, him and our relationship.  It is not a perfect art but it is the meaning that makes us both feel loved and happy.  The featured image and this photo is an example.  I am sure some of you have collected some special gifts.  Welcome to share in the comments below that helps creating more ideas!

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Women are Crazy!….???

“Women are crazy!”  What is the content within the word, “Crazy!”, most men imply that women are easy jealous, insecurity, and make things out of nothing. What if the true meaning is the fact that women love their men so much and actually care deeply about the relationship?! Men should feel lucky that their women actually care about love and the relationship. Same for women if you have sensitive men.  When we love someone so much, we are more protective. We do not want to lose the loved one. Better question, why would you do anything to sabotage the relationship?

Some men hide their female friendship(s) with co-workers or friends because they believe their women will go “CRAZY!”.  They do not want to deal with women asking questions or what they said, “Women make things out of nothing!” or generally avoid conflicts.  However, the fact is that men hide female friendship(s) from their girlfriend or spouse is interpret as dishonest in most women’s minds. It can be the other way around, too.  Does it feel good to hide something when the opposite sex friendship is nothing more than just a friendship or work relationship? Somehow, most men or women assume that their loved one will not like their opposite-sex friend(s). It is only your assumption, maybe even if it is based on past patterns. We all have a past, bad relationship, and maybe have a partner cheated on you or you were the one who cheated. However, how much do you want this true loving relationship to work and last forever? There will always other female co-workers, or friends come into your world.  However, how many times do we find true love relationship in this one lifetime?

When it can be honestly told or shared the information to your loved one, it is a risk worth to take.  Most of us, men and women, have a jealous issue. When it is properly handling the opposite sex friendship(s) with honesty, it gives your loved one confidence to trust you.  You feel good, too. It is up to the loved one to work on their own jealousy issue.  However, you have done the most important thing, being honest. Remind your loved one that there is nothing to worry about.  By acting honestly, you are showing your unwavering commitment. As each time the same experience happens, the confidence will become stronger and the jealousy may even be gone.

Imagine if your loved one find out the opposite friendship in their own way or you tell them, which one do you prefer? Is your love strong enough to make a clear boundary that your opposite-sex friends will not cause a problem to your relationship? It is your responsibility to protect your relationship and commitment to your loved one.

Next time when you think your loved one is ‘crazy’, perhaps check-in with yourself first before saying it out loud.  Words can be so much more hurtful and can’t be undone!

I loved these words:

Gentleman's Quotes_24Aug2019

 

That piece of paper!

The idea of marriage has always been in almost every girl’s dream.  Waiting for the proposal! However, there are a number of men do not believe in marriage.  What happens when you are dating a wonderful Mr Right but he thinks the piece of paper isn’t needed.  “We have everything! our love is true! We are together! I love you and always will!  You love me! We don’t need that piece of paper!” It happens more to couples who are either had experience divorce or couples who are over the 40s.

Whenever I heard that my mind would ask what is that “piece of paper” means? I tend to separate the meaning of marriage and wedding.  I am only focused on marriage. Marriage is between the two people with the wedding rings, the vows and the marriage certificate.  The meaning of the wedding ring is a circle has no beginning or end and is, therefore, a symbol of infinity.  Forever love will never end! Vows are not only the promise and commitment to each other to enter the marriage but I also believe it shows each other faith and trust that both will commit to each other through good times and challenges.  Last, it is both signing the marriage contract or the marriage certificate which sounds better.  The action of signing your name on this ‘piece of paper’ becomes a responsibility which is so different than signing an apartment leasing agreement to move-in together.  One is for life. There is no exit! The other could be a 6 months lease or 12 months lease that gives both an option to end.

Let’s go back to the words, ‘piece of paper’. If two people have no interests in having children, in a committed relationship with their hearts and soul, do we really need the ring and vows plus that ‘piece of paper’? If marriage means the world to you, can you sacrifice that for your Mr Right? or you are afraid that you won’t find Mr Perfect who also believe in marriage.  Same for the men.  I don’t have the answer.  However, only you can answer this question, “Something you desire so much and have a huge meaning to you but you could not have it.  Can you live with that?”

This quote always troubles me in many ways:

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Find my healing place

There are many kinds of love. The one kind that we all wanted the most is having true love with someone to grow old with. Someone who we can trust completely with our hearts.  It is also seems like the most difficult kind of love to create the happily ever after. 

When I started this blog, I talked about my own challenges and a broken heart from my 7000+km relationship. It was at the time that we both thought it was completely over. I was hoping to stay positive and learning from it. I also talked about the challenges of loving my parents. In the past, I used photography to express my thoughts. After reading many blog posts, articles about love. I decided to try to write. I hope to learn from other bloggers about love.  Honestly, I still have a long way to learn to write better. However, my wish is to give hopes to others. Some of us are dealing with the challenges of love in many different ways.  I realized this community is place for healing, not just sharing thoughts, ideas and experience. I appreciated this community and the people.  It is helping me! I hope I can give back by sharing my own story.  

Because of the minor brain concussion last year plus two other unfortunate events, it made me realized how life can be short! I decided to write to him in February and hope to make peace. In my mind, I wish he would remember the wonderful memories of us if I left this world suddenly.  Surprisingly, he asked me, “What do I really want? Just make peace? Let’s talk!” I still hesitated but he kept asking, “Do I want more than just make peace? I have not moved on and never stop loving you! The photos and your belongings are still in the same spot. Let’s be truthful and talk.”  I still remember he had my emails on his laptop and he wrote notes during our video chat. He said that it is important we talk through all them so we can move forward.  We did!  Recently, he came to visit.  Although it was only 10 days, it was the best 10 days. During one of the conversations, he said he knew he has to be patient to wait for me to write to him.  He knew none of those excuses were true but he did feel hurtful that I didn’t believe him! I was running away from fear. The distance and each separation were too painful.  He was right.  However, it took those painful experiences and many months, then, I realized that I truly love him.

 “If you love someone, set them free. 

If they come back they’re yours; 

if they don’t they never were.”

One of the famous singers said this in her last concert before she passed away and only 40 years old “If you have found someone special with youyou better hurry up or if you waited too long, they might not be around. She devoted her life to music, her fans, and the stage. Her only wish for marriage, having someone special, but never did come true!

Here I am, I don’t know how my own story will end. However, I learnt to be honest with myself and treasure each moments of this relationship.  More so love him withi my open heart as he does for me! If you have someone special that your heart feels it is true love, be brave and tell him or her! If she/he is closed, maybe grab hold onto the love, be together, and create more wonderful memories instead of dealing the pain from each separation and wondering when will be the next time see each other? 

My special love one always said “True love will show up for those who has patient.”  This time I will share one of his favourite quotes:

26Jul2019_Q

Love isn’t always easy but worth it!

When a couple fights, it is easy to let the anger take the best of each individual and then regret hurtful things that had said.  Words can be sharp as a sword that cut a deep wound in the heart which would never completely heal.  Forgive but probably won’t be forgotten! I like this quote.  It is not easy but two minds can find ways to resolve issue differently without hurting each other. Maybe, the first step is taking a deep breath, giving a little space, and asking in your mind if this is worth to get angry? If you have someone special in your life, isn’t it better to create more meaningful conversations and memories together than the painful ones?

22Jul2019_Q

Endless Ocean and Sky

I have always loved the endless ocean and the sky. For a long time, I only knew that I wanted to see as far as I can from where I stand. The feeling of standing on the sand, feeling the water on my feet, breathing in the fresh air, seeing the beautiful sky and ocean was bittersweet. In front of me was a beautiful sight but I stood at the same spot. I was going nowhere! 

For many years, I thought I liked the ocean and the sky because they are so beautiful. Until the dayI was at the pier. Where I stood, I saw the shadow of the fence and myself on the ocean. My heart had this feeling of sadness. It was that moment from what I saw as I was put behind bars and realized why I love the ocean and the sky so much. I am longing for freedom!

I feel trapped in my own past, my negative self and the conflicting self! Life should be simple! I should be able to make a simple decision to free myself! I heard many people described it like turning on a switch, so easy and simple just makes up your mind! I am still taking baby steps. It is like locking myself in my own house. I need to find the key first but I am holding onto it so tight as I am starring at the door. All I have to do is just take another step, unlock the door and step out! How come it is so hard?! I had done it but then I always ran back into the house and locked myself up again as soon as I felt scared! Hide the key!

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Photo by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash

I love this quote when I saw it! It makes sense to me logically. The human mind is so amazing but also complicated. Recently, I saw a number of bloggers posted Marianne Williamson’s quote, Our deepest fear. It felt so good to read those words. Again, I understand the words. Maybe, it is ok to run back to a safe place to regroup, reflect and rethink what scared me?! I tell myself each day is a new day! I will get there one day as long as I keep trying! Discovering and trying to face my own fear and understand what it is without running back. Stand strong! I am sometimes at war with myself! Sound silly but it is true!  I have to do it my way, but I will learn from others. Maybe, I can set myself free completely one day! 

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